It's Raining, It's Pouring
by Leesa Perrie
Summary: Set after 'Quarantine', Season 4. Stuck in a cave and Rodney's not happy.


**It's Raining, It's Pouring**

**By Leesa Perrie**

_Set in Season 4, sometime after Quarantine._

_Written for the sgagenficathon on LiveJournal for the prompt: Weather or Elements (Humour)._

Stupid world with its stupid weather and its stupid energy signatures that turned out to be nothing of interest and its stupid rain that caused a stupid flood that cut them off from the stupid stargate because a stupid team leader had decided not to bring a stupid jumper and now he was trapped in a stupid cave listening to hours of stupid conversation about stupid things by stupid people…

Suffice it to say that Rodney McKay was not a happy man. Not a happy man, at all.

Sighing heavily and trying to ignore the banal conversation going on around him, he attempted to concentrate on the report on his PC tablet. He knew he was being unfair to his team-mates; none of them were stupid really. Well, maybe Ronon … no, even he wasn't stupid, not really; not in some things.

It was just so annoying. He was cold and damp and miserable and he just wanted to go home and get warm and forget about this stupid planet and its stupid weather … and he was starting to go around in circles, which was never a good sign.

He sighed again, ignoring the irritated looks he was sure were being thrown his way, and tried not to shiver too much; it made reading difficult. Not that he was doing much reading as his mind kept wandering. Must be the cold … and the distracting talk about Jaws, a movie that Sheppard had introduced Teyla and Ronon to at the last team movie night.

Stupid movie, he knew he shouldn't have watched it, hadn't wanted to in fact. Crap, Sheppard had even said he didn't have to, but that had been in front of his team and he hadn't wanted to look more of a wuss than he already did due to recent behaviour. A kind of inverted peer pressure, and something you'd have thought he'd have been past by this stage in this life. Well, now he could add sharks to his nightmares of whales and he couldn't really blame anyone but himself.

And just what was that thing with the scuba tank? Like that would work in real life. Honestly, it was amazing what rubbish people were prepared to believe. Apparently, Ronon and Keller had tried to use that idea with an oxygen tank when they were trapped during the recent quarantine fiasco. Idiots. Of course it didn't work; they could have killed themselves with the damned ricochet.

Sharks. He shuddered. All he needed now was some movie about killer dolphins to complete the set. He made a note to avoid Flipper at all costs, just to be on the safe side.

Damn, it seemed to be getting colder, despite the fire that Ronon had started, using some dry leaves and twigs that had drifted into the cave at some point in the past and wet wood scavenged from nearby. He didn't want to admit it, but even after all this time he was still impressed when his team-mate was able to do something like start a fire with wet wood; he couldn't start a fire from scratch, even with dry wood, favourable conditions and a box of matches.

Shifting carefully, he inched a little closer to the blaze, making sure he didn't get too close and risk catching fire himself, of course, and making sure to stay on the emergency blanket he was using to protect himself from the cold, hard floor. He pulled the other emergency blanket tighter around his shoulders with one hand, keeping hold of his laptop with the other. It didn't help much, though, and he couldn't stop himself from sighing again as another shiver ran through him.

He hoped he wasn't coming down with a cold or something, which wouldn't surprise him considering how wet he'd gotten – even his boxers had been damp – before they'd found shelter from the cold torrents raining down on them. Thank goodness they carried spare clothes in their packs, so at least they could get changed into something dry, if not warm.

Normally, he would have said something by now, about still being cold and the headache that had started up, but recent events had not shown him in a good light; he'd thought he was coming down with the illness that had tripped the quarantine protocol, when in fact there hadn't been an illness for him to catch and it had turned out that he was fine. Well, panicked and possibly a little low on blood sugar, but otherwise fine.

And he'd blown it with Katie somehow. He still wasn't quite sure what had gone wrong there, but she didn't want to talk to him anymore, so it was obviously over between them. Perhaps she agreed that right now he'd only make her life miserable and wasn't willing to wait for him to get better at the whole relationship thing. He couldn't really blame her, not knowing if he'd ever get it right.

But this wasn't getting the report read, so he turned his attention back to his tablet, only for the screen to blur for a moment as he shivered again.

Oh yeah, that wasn't good. He was sure he was coming down with something. He should tell his team-mates, but he couldn't face their teasing. Sure, he knew now that they didn't really mean anything by it, that it was just a part of their friendship. It had taken him some time to get that, and he did now. Well, most of the time, he did. But he wasn't sure he could handle it right now.

As yet another shiver ran through him, he was startled slightly as a second blanket was draped round his shoulders. Looking up, he could see the carefully masked concern in Sheppard's eyes.

"Thanks."

"You okay?" John asked.

"Cold," he muttered.

"Not so cold now," Ronon stated in his normal matter of fact manner.

"Hey," he protested as Sheppard put a hand on his forehead, causing him to pull back.

"Oh yeah, feeling a little warm there, Rodney." Sheppard grabbed the medical kit that Ronon had already pulled out of his backpack and took out the digital thermometer.

He sighed and took it from Sheppard, shoving it into his mouth with a scowl.

"Not like you," Ronon said.

"Wha…" he mumbled round the thermometer, but shut up at Sheppard's stern look.

"I think he means you're not normally reticent about telling us when you feel ill," the colonel clarified.

He looked away from them, glad that he couldn't reply as he wasn't sure what to say to that. Silence fell for a few moments until the thermometer bleeped and Sheppard took it back.

"101. A little high but not too bad." John got a PowerBar, canteen and some Tylenol out. "Eat, drink and take these."

"Fine," he answered with a sigh, but he only managed a couple of bites of the PowerBar. He didn't feel hungry. Taking the Tylenol, he swallowed them with water and discovered that he might not be hungry but he was definitely thirsty. He would have drained the canteen if John hadn't stopped him.

"Hey, need to keep some for later, okay?"

"Okay."

"And in the future you tell us if you don't feel well," Sheppard ordered firmly.

He nodded, knowing he'd been stupid not to say anything. Judging from the looks Ronon and John were sending each other, they probably already guessed why he hadn't, and he couldn't decide whether that was irritating, embarrassing or actually kind of … nice.

Sheppard settled back down, changing the conversation, much to Rodney's relief.

"I'm thinking we should get Jaws 2 for the next movie night, what do you think?"

"Cool," Ronon said, his eyes lighting up.

"Oh crap," he said with a groan, maybe he wasn't so relieved by the change of topic after all. "Well, I'm not watching that, no way. The first one was bad enough. Oh, and while I'm on it, what possessed Keller and you to try something potentially suicidal with an oxygen tank?"

"Worked in the film," Ronon replied.

"And you," he turned his eyes to Sheppard, "Didn't think to explain that movies and TV shows have a tendency to ignore physics and other sciences in favour of the improbable and downright impossible? That it's more about the visual effects and action than actual science?"

"I didn't hear you explaining that either," John said in his defence. "Besides, wasn't MacGyver based on science?"

"First off, MacGyver's science was exaggerated beyond belief on a regular basis, and secondly," he glared at Ronon. "Idiots! You could have gotten yourselves killed."

He ignored the smiles traded by his companions, knowing that he was well and truly busted; that they knew he cared what happened to them. Which was fine, so long as Ronon didn't hug him again anytime soon.

"Teyla told me that when she got trapped in your lab with Sheppard, he thought she was going to give birth," Ronon said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Said it always happened that way in the movies."

"Of course it does. In the _movies_," he answered with a derisive snort.

"Hey, it could have happened!"

"She's not due for months yet."

"So … you have heard of premature babies, haven't you?"

"Not that premature," he countered with a roll of his eyes.

"If it happens to anyone, it'll be one of you two," Ronon told him with a feral grin.

"What? Why? And no way, ugh!" he protested at that same time as Sheppard said, "Crap, I hope not."

"You attract trouble," was Ronon's reply.

"Do not," Sheppard stated petulantly.

"What he said."

Ronon just grinned, before cocking his head slightly.

"Rain's stopped."

"Oh thank goodness!"

"Still got to wait for the floodwater to go down," Sheppard cautioned.

"Right, and knowing our luck it'll start raining again before that happens."

"That's what I love about you, McKay, your unending optimism."

"What? Oh right, thank you very much, Lieutenant Colonel Sunshine and Rainbows."

But it didn't start raining again and the floodwaters receded quickly. Within an hour they were back home.

* * *

Rodney was miserable as his body fluctuated between being freezing cold and boiling hot. It was just a chill, according to Keller, and nothing to worry about so long as his symptoms didn't get worse. Which was why when she'd released him to his quarters, telling him to drink plenty, eat when he could and rest, she'd also organised for someone to check in on him several times a day.

Rest. Right, between the cold, the heat, the headache, the aching joints and the general crappy feeling, he couldn't sleep and just sitting doing nothing went against his very nature. He'd tried working on his laptop but he couldn't concentrate and, even worse, he'd caught himself making basic errors. Reading made his headache worse and he kept having to reread parts over and over and still not remember what they said.

Frustrated, annoyed and exceptionally bored, he lay on his bed, willing himself to just go to sleep and maybe he'd feel better when he woke up. His body, however, had other ideas. So he'd tried reciting to himself the periodic table, which usually worked when he had trouble sleeping, but hadn't this time. He'd even tried counting sheep, which just showed what state his mind was to resort to something as pathetic and futile as that.

Just as he was thinking about asking for a damn sleeping pill, his door chimed and he groaned. Probably Keller or a nurse; still, he could ask for that pill he supposed as he heaved his aching, shivering body up from his bed and stumbled over to open the door.

"You look like crap," came the too cheerful voice of one Colonel Sheppard.

"Boy, thanks," he said with a glare, only somewhat muted by his wretched state. "What are you doing here?"

"Better be nice or I'll take this back…" Sheppard held up a DVD with a grin.

Peering at the cover he realised it was the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight, and his eyes lit up.

"Where did you get a copy of that?"

"I have my contacts," John replied, deadpan.

"Going to let us in," Ronon, who Rodney only just now noticed was standing behind the colonel, said impatiently.

"Where's Teyla? She'd better not be here." He blinked, realising how that sounded. "I mean, germs and she's, you know…" he mimed her bump.

"Yeah, Keller suggested she stay away until you were better."

"She wasn't happy," Ronon added, pushing past them both and into the room, immediately starting to move furniture around and shoving the strewn pieces of clothing, science journals and other detritus onto the floor.

"Hey…" he started to protest only for Sheppard to guide him back to his bed.

"Sit down before you fall down," John admonished him, taking up residence on the end of his bed as Ronon finished pulling a table over for the laptop and a chair for himself.

"Okay, I get it, you're staying," he muttered grumpily, though inside he was glad of the company. "So, what are you waiting for? Let's get the movie rolling."

"Yeah, yeah, hold your horses," Sheppard said as he put the DVD in.

"And you'd better have brought something good to eat…"

Ronon threw John and him a Snickers bar each before opening up a third one for himself.

"Right, good. Now be quiet," he muttered as the opening titles began.

Being sick sucked. But watching The Dark Knight with his friends didn't. Even if he did fall asleep halfway through.

Well, he was ill, after all.

The End

_A/N: I'm know I might be pushing it a bit with the movie, seeing as it isn't released until July 2008 – but hey, maybe Quarantine happened around then and John could have some contacts somewhere…and it's Batman so I just couldn't resist!_


End file.
